My Awakening Story
told through the Introduction of my unpublished book, The Chakra Codes
I’ve always struggled with a sense of belonging. Just this morning I was writing in my journal how I was the odd one out in my family of three.
My mom and my sister two peas in a pod. Both suffering from depression and anxiety, both lighting their next cigarettes as the one they were smoking was being butted out in the ashtray.
I have a vivid memory from my childhood of being so overwhelmed by the smell of the cigarette smoke in the house that every time I left my bedroom I would pull my shirt up over my nose.
The response to this was taunting from my sister. “Don’t be such a baby”, or “you’re too sensitive” thrown at me like me hating second smoke was what was wrong with this situation.
Over time, my sense of self became eroded.
I began smoking. Drinking. Gossiping. Anything that would let me in their inner circle. This lasted for years. Until I met my now husband and realized what I was doing was abandoning myself to try to fit in.
Then I started working with energy and the rift between myself and family grew larger. The more I built my own life, the further apart we seemed to get.
When I wrote my first book, My Kid is Driving me Crazy; A Mom’s Surivival Guide for Living with a Child with Mental Health my sister stopped talking to me altogether. No call, no discussion, no email - just silence. We still haven’t spoken to this day. It’s been nine years.
What I had hoped was going to be a celebration with my family. Me writing a book. The thing I had dreamt about doing my whole life, became the splintering of a complete family unit.
Which is why it has taken me so long to feel safe to share the full story of my awakening.
When the very people you thought would share in your dreams coming true are the ones to ostracize you and shut you out, it leaves a mark.
Now, nine years later I’m ready to share it all.
To go back and open the vault on every extra sensory experience I’ve had in the last nine years and how it has impacted me. To share my excitement, my fears, how weird it seemed, how unlimited I felt.
Today it begins at the beginning.
My awakening story as I shared it in my yet unpublished book, The Chakra Codes.
Introduction:
Sitting at my kitchen table, staring out the window at the giant oak tree in my backyard, I burst into tears. My desire to help people had become so big, so intense, that I didn’t think I could bear it any longer. I didn’t know how I was going to help them, but I knew that if I didn’t something inside me would die.
It was in this moment I knew something had changed. The yearning to find people to help was bigger than any other emotion I had ever felt. When I told my husband I wanted to put this moment in the introduction to this book and asked him if he remembered when I felt this way, he did. It’s etched into both our memories.
If you are here reading this page, I’m going to guess that you have felt something similar. An aching to make a difference so big it can bring you tears. This is a lightworkers calling. This is what we incarnated on the earth to do. To change the vibration of the planet and to raise the collective consciousness from fear to love.
When I began to hear, feel, and see things that I couldn’t explain I didn’t know where to turn. I feared that if I opened up to people in my life about what was happening, they would think I was crazy! What would my loved ones say if I showed up to family dinner and said, “I started talking to angels in my meditations, can you pass the peas?”.
There were months where I confided in no one because I believed sharing what was happening would end my marriage and get me locked up in the mental health ward of the hospital. It was these fears that had me make an appointment with my therapist. Mental illness runs in my family, and part of me questioned whether what I was experiencing was real or not.
Walking into her office, I was petrified. How do you start a conversation about talking to your ex’s dead father while driving? Or explain that you are hearing voices in your head that don’t belong to you? Sitting on the loveseat across from her I had a panic attack. I burst into tears and let all the weird things that were happening fly out my mouth.
I could hear like a bat, the trees were talking to me, everything looked like it was in high definition, my brain ached all the time, I was speaking to my dead grandfather and my ex’s dead father, I was hearing voices that were guiding me to do things (all good and supportive but wtf), I was obsessed with looking at snowflakes because they were all so different and magical, everything felt brighter, and I was scared I was going crazy.
When I was done babbling about all the strange things that were happening, I expected to look up and find my therapist shaking her head or writing out a prescription. But that’s not what happened. Instead, this woman who I had been seeing for over ten years smiled and said, “it’s time”.
“Time for what?”, I asked.
It’s time for you to learn A Course in Miracles. (ACIM)
Having never heard of ACIM before, I didn’t know what she was talking about, but I knew I needed help, and if this class was going to help me, then I was showing up for it. I mean how bad could it be with a name that suggested learning about miracles. A miracle sounded awesome at that moment.
The class taught me what channeling was, how to protect my energy, how to drive spirits from my home, how to ask for divine support, and many other practices I still use today. It also allowed me to feel safe with the gifts that were opening up inside me and gave me confidence to begin practicing reading energy on my own.
I began asking my friends if they would let me do oracle card readings on them. In the beginning I would pull a card and read the description in the book. After a few nervous attempts, I realized I was getting more information by looking at the card and asking what message it had for my friend. I began to be shown images, pictures, words, and sometimes sensations. Knowing there was something happening, I took a course in doing angel card readings and my small energy reading business was born.
The more I practiced, the more I was able to see and the more I was able to share with my clients. Then one day as I was leaving my bathroom, I heard, “you can read chakras”. When my spirit guides speak to me it sounds like my voice, but it comes from the back of my head. Like someone is standing behind me.
What did my spirit guides mean I could read chakras? I was an energy reader, sure, but I knew nothing about chakras. Coming to a complete stop in my hallway I answered.
“Sorry you have the wrong human; I don’t know anything about chakras”.
“You can read chakras”, the guides repeated.
“Ugh, but I don’t know anything about chakras”, I whined back.
“We will show you”, they said.
This moment in my life is a crucial moment. You know the type. One where you have a choice to step into the ring as Brene Brown describes it, or you can ignore the message and keep doing what you’ve always done. I had begun to trust my guides, so I decided to take the leap.
Walking over to my computer, I flipped up the top and typed “apparently I can read chakras, is anyone open to letting me practice on them” into my Facebook status bar. Feeling like I was going to barf, I closed the top of my computer and went on with the rest of my day. When I finally looked at my phone again hours later, I saw that four people had raised their hand for a chakra reading. I thought I was going to die.
Showing up for those first four chakra readings were some of the scariest moments of my life. I was riddled with fear that I wouldn’t be able to offer any helpful information. That the people would hate their reading. I felt like a weirdo and a fraud. But something kept nudging me to show up to the next call. Then the next one. Each time trusting that the divine was guiding the readings and that what I was doing was helping and supporting the people I was reading.
These chakra readings turned into more chakra readings and before long I had a list of people who wanted to know more about what was happening in their chakras. My calendar filled and I was working mornings, afternoons and evenings trying to help people from all over the world. It was glorious and exhausting.
The more chakras I read the more similarities presented themselves. Each chakra held specific memories and imprints from childhood. When attention and healing was brought to that chakra, dense energy could be released, and the chakra could be attuned to a higher frequency. Helping people shift their vibration, which affected everything in their lives, became my life’s work.
Which is what I want for you. The information to be able to shift your vibration at will by knowing what is happening in your chakras, and the passion of doing what you love.
Being a lightworker doesn’t mean you have to quit your job or make dramatic changes in your life. It means that you fully accept that you may have some pretty cool gifts, and that you are here to help people.
This can look like changing the energy at the office you work at by learning how to focus higher vibrational energy out of your heart. Or accepting gifts in your children and helping them feel protected and safe as they practice them.
Being a lightworker can be bold and in front of many people, or it can be subtle and create small ripples. It’s about the work of changing the vibration of the planet and doing it in your way.
A few months ago, I was lighting the candles on the altar in my living room when my guides spoke again. They said, “write The Chakra Codes”. When I asked what that meant, the answer was, “write a book that every lightworker needs to read”.
I’m very excited to be opening a new portal here in SubStack called The Haven. This space is for you if you are wondering if there is more spiritually than you have been taught.
You see, hear, or experience different things and don’t know where to go to learn what it means.
You feel pulled to learn more about different realms, dimensions and spiritual masters.
You want to learn how to work with the energy of the universe and the energy within yourself.
This is what The Haven is all about.
Every month I’ll go live with Tea and Tarot and do live card pulls for everyone who is able to join. This live will also hold energetic codes and frequencies for our transformation.
In the month of May we will be working through the book, The 7 Sacred Flames by Aurelia Lousie Jones, connecting with Ascended Masters and meditating on the 7 rays of light. A powerful way to connect with higher frequencies of light.
There will be light activations, energy downloads and a community experiencing the world through the same lens that you are. A safe space to learn, grow and expand your energy work together.
For the rest of April The Haven will be $8 to join. If you feel the call, join this month before the price goes up in May. Just hit Subscribe and together we will build The Haven this month!
This month I am also offering two for one card readings. April has the potential to shift so many areas of your life. If you are looking for support in knowing where to place your focus, then grab two readings - one for now and one for later - and receive guidance from your Guides and Spiritual Team.
Blessings,
Avalon ✨